Camping with Children

In two weeks, my family is going to go off on a brave adventure: camping across the western US. This year marks the fifth year of our marriage. On our honeymoon, we camped across the entire country, from California to Vermont and back. Granted, we caved and stayed in the odd motel or so and surfed on friends' couches here and there, but a good deal of it was spent camping.

But things are different five years later. We have two kids and two dogs to take along with us. There's complications with eating, excessive "dark," using the potty, and a general resistance to flexibility to deal with. But saving $90 a night will help to offset the price of gas and cooking our own food will be cheaper than roadside fair as well (that's right--we really want to stretch that stimulus check we'll be getting shortly).

To explore the intricacies of camping with children--which we hadn't done for a year--we went on a short over-night camping trip to a nearby national forest a week ago. Here are some things we've encountered:

Being Outside: The kids love and treasure outside-time. We know this from playing outside and cooking outside, but it is especially evident while camping. When else do you get to spend hour upon hour solidly outside? It just doesn't happen much where we live or at least how we live. But the outside world is endlessly interesting and enriching offering us plenty of activities that don't involve much organization if any.

The benefits of being dirty: It's nice to be able to tell the kids to go ahead and be as dirty as they need to be. Especially in our 3 year old, there seems to be a resistance to--not getting dirty--but staying dirty. While camping, it's unavoidable that you will be dirty, so telling them so is somewhat of a liberation. Our eldest kept reminding us throughout the two days, "Look, I'm dirty, but it's okay." It never before has crossed my mind how much we must subtle encourage cleanliness in our day-to-day.

Hidden Dangers: Where we live, in southeastern Texas, there is a lot to be wary of. Poison ivy and oak are all around, as well as roughly 65 billion types of poisonous snake. There are insects like asps and scorpions that are better left alone. The lakes in the area house plenty of gators that would find our 2 year old a delightful snack. So there does end up being a bit much of the "stay close" and "get out of the bushes" from time to time. It didn't seem to bother them much.

Sleeping in a tent: This is fun for the kids, though a bit scary, too. We had the idea that they would sleep on one side and the parents could cuddle up in a separate area. No chance. We were a woven tapestry of humanity the night long. This is fine once expectations are abandoned. There is also plenty of need to reassure kids during sounds outside. Once in a while, I also need reassurance.

Play equipment: You don't need a lot of equipment for kids to play with. Lots of camping rituals provide structured fun; roasting marshmallows seems to be much more fun than eating them. we did bring sand pales and shovels and they chose to do a lot of digging. But exploration of leaves, bugs, and toads was more than enough for them most of the time.

Be prepared: This story is really told best by my wife. Okay, I'm the dumb one here. In the year we've had our trusty mini-van, I've never had to change its tire. Sure enough, waking up to a brisk morning, I saw that we had a flat over night. Getting that spare tire out from under was impossible--until I found out the right way to do it two hours later. There was no cell phone reception and no Google to help me out of the situation. Then, once that problem was solved, we discovered that a late-night diaper change led to a light being left on and eventually to a dead battery. When we finally tracked someone down to give us a jump (and we forgot our own cables), our German Shepard, Blitzen, threatened by the man's proximity to our daughter, decided to pounce the guy. Yeah, it was a great morning.

It's not like grown-up camping. The night doesn't get late enough before it's bed time, the little legs can limit long hikes, and you never have to remind your wife to move away from the fire nearly as much as you do your toddlers. But camping with kids can be fun and enriching. There is no limit to the opportunities for curious kids. They can't wait to go on our adventure, and neither can we. I'll be honest and update if we end up in a Super 8 due to rain or cold, but we're going to try and go all the way.

Is Bedtime a Badtime?

Bedtime seems to go in cycles around here. Just when we get in a comfortable phase of putting them in bed, all bathed and happy, kissing them goodnight and tiptoeing away to the melodious sound of synchronized snores, things change.

The change seems to happen the night after (or the minute after) one of us remarks to the other parent "Wow, they sure are good at going to bed these days." Then bedtime reverts to the all out war that it seems to be about two weeks out of the month.

I have a theory that it's not because we've done anything wrong that this change happens. I don't generally credit it to a change in diet, or a change in routine, or a change in the stars. It just seems like consistency isn't what they're looking for a bedtime--at least not long term. They want the routine changed every so often and by the time they tell you they want the change, it's too late.

We cycle through different pre-bedtime rituals to try and make the night go down more smoothly. From this following list, we mix and match until we have a mixed grill of a nighttime schedule that works for the next few weeks.

Reading at Bedtime: This is a classic for obvious reasons. It gives us some time to wind-down, talk calmly, and read something that is comforting (even though I like them best when they get just a little bit scary in there). My favorite bedtime stories are from Maurice Sendak, but don't stop with Where the Wild Things Are; also try Outside over There and The Night Kitchen.

Singing: I happen to enjoy singing lullabies. I don't think that it's a good idea to introduce this ritual if you don't enjoy it. It has staying power and you will have requests over and over again. I usually take this one out of the routine when I notice that my girls are staying awake just to make me sing more. My favorites to sing are "Feed the Birds," "Sweet Baby James," and "Pooh Corner." But they often make me sing a drawn-out version of The Decemberists "The Crane Wife" oddly enough.

Bedtime Music: We have a small CD player that we play lullabies on. This works sometimes as a substitute to singing and sometimes in addition to. We have a few different CDs and mixes to change things up. But, like all these others, their tastes sometime drift away from this ritual.

Story of the Day: This is especially good if we've had long, active days or had visitors. We sit and talk about all the things we did today, each taking turns coming up with details to fill it out. Then, we end by planning out our next day. This works really well for making our expectations if we have big plans for tomorrow.

Holding Hands: Sometimes I have to sit there and hold hands until my older daughter goes to sleep. This only works when she's really tired and had some kind of a scare. She is usually asleep pretty fast, or I just can't stay there all night and she moves into our bed. Holding hands is a last resort before:

Pulling my own hair out and screaming until I die: Sometimes nothing works. We have the girls shack up with us in our bed like we used to and hope to move them sometime in the night so that we can get some rest, too. The main thing is to realize that no matter how prepared you are, you're not always going to come out successfully. I don't actually recommend pulling out hair or screaming or dying, but it sure sounds like it would be helpful.

I always tell my daughters when they play keep-away with our German Shepard, "Don't play to win, just play." That's how I feel about bedtime. Don't play to win. In the end, they can always outlast your patients if you make it a power struggle. Just talk things out, give in if you must, but set expectations that this night is different from tomorrow night.