Comments on How to be a Badass Dad: The Breastfeeding Father

i live in copperas cove...not far from waco...i fu...

2012-02-15T16:16:48.261-06:00

i live in copperas cove...not far from waco...i full feel what you said how bfing moms are treated here. we want to move to austin so much. I do disaree w what you said about bfing as a form or birth control. It is very effective more so then the pill. but like anything isnt not 100%.

Wonderful blog. Congrats to you and your family; t...

2012-02-10T20:36:16.116-06:00

Wonderful blog. Congrats to you and your family; the love shows through each word.

Thank you for supporting and encouraging your wife...

2012-02-10T13:40:29.812-06:00

Thank you for supporting and encouraging your wife to nurse your children. I was blessed with four precious daughters and nursed them in spite of the fact that at that time everyone else, or so it seemed at the time, were bottle feeding their youngsters.Now my daughters nurse their little ones and I am very proud to see that family tradition continue on. God bless you as you cont. to be an Awesome DAD!!!!

dude. humble suggestion: forward this post IMMEDIA...

2012-02-07T16:12:47.671-06:00

dude. humble suggestion: forward this post IMMEDIATELY to artofmanliness.com. the readership there craves examples of devoted husbands such as yourself and would likely have it viral in hours

you are a lucky guy to have a wife who trusts you with this stuff. and she's lucky to have a man so committed to her health and happiness, as well as those of your family.

i admit to being curious...how much of the breastfeeding/lactation/support expectation discussion did you have through the pregnancy? or did it evolve organically as complications arose? who was your example for the tremendously awesome behavior you have now modeled for others?

i'm pdf'ing this immediately for later reference when, God willing, i have a brood of my own to consider.

With regard to the husband who is so unsupportive:...

2012-02-07T06:16:23.385-06:00

With regard to the husband who is so unsupportive: My third son (in less than five years had meningitis when he was three months old. It happened in an instant. My pediatrician recognized the symptoms over the phone and sent us immediately to the local children's hospital. She warned me that they would want me to stop breastfeeding so they could measure how much fluid when in to him and out (by weighing his diapers). She told me to vehemently object and to use her name. Meningitis is 90% fatal in 6 days if untreated and the rest have all kinds of things like deafness. My father had a brother who died of it at age 7 (in 1913) so you can imagine my panic. Long story short -Because of my pediatricians quick diagnosis and b/c of my antibodies though breastfeeding him, he will celebrate is 30th (years, not months)birthday at the end of February. He is totally fine. Needless to say, I am a BIG advocate of breastfeeding. To me, it is as important as the carseat!

As promised your feature has been added to the TIP...

2011-09-20T04:08:21.511-05:00

As promised your feature has been added to the TIPS newsletter and posted on fb at:http://www.facebook.com/pages/TIPS-Ltd/144216465639185

Hi Sol and family One of my parent testers pointed...

2011-08-22T10:11:32.592-05:00

Hi Sol and family
One of my parent testers pointed me towards your blog ad I love it so much I have decided to post it on my forthcoming newsletter so that other dads can benefit from your wisdom surrounding the subject of breastfeeding ad all things parenting...
Good luck with baby number three and check out the TIPS newsletters (you will be featured in issue 24) at:http://www.tipslimited.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=51&Itemid=215

Very very nice post! I am a big breastfeeding advo...

2011-04-01T11:05:51.545-05:00

Very very nice post! I am a big breastfeeding advocate I have been breastfeeding my baby for almost 3 years now (he will be 3yrs old in May) and just like you are to your wife I am so lucky that I do have a very supportive husband too. As my husband always says whenever we see fathers/mothers at the mall or wherever with a very very big bag and always holding a feeding bottle; he always smiles at me and says "boy am I so lucky as we don't have to bring a lot of those bottles and even luckier that we don't need to wash any of those.". Thats why I say to you sir, that you are indeed lucky and your wife even luckier for having you as her husband!

Anon- Luckily, every breastfeeding relationship i...

2010-11-10T11:57:01.280-06:00

Anon-

Luckily, every breastfeeding relationship is different with your kids--you may have much better luck with this one.

In our experience, 3 or 4 months was usually the time when things finally got easier, and I'm sorry that you didn't crest that in your first experience. I'm not a certified expert, but we made sure that the instant that there was in infection, my wife got on antibiotics. The instant that the antibiotics caused thrush, she got on acidopholous (sp?). This required my cooperation and the cooperation of a good, trustworthy, breastfeeding friendly doctor.

Far be it for me to tell you how to handle your relationship with your husband in this difficult arena, but there is other support out there. For one, you can find your local La Leche League. We have had some great groups and some not-so-great ones, but all in all the LLL tries to support breastfeeding.

There are a few breastfeeding groups online that can help, as well. My wife is a breastfeeding mentor on LiveJournal. I'll have to get her to post a link to the breastfeeding community on that site, as it totally escapes me right this instant.

Do you have "The Motherly Art of Breastfeeding?" That was a wonderful resource for us.

There are several tricks of the trade that can really help out. If you're getting mastitis because your production is too much and your baby can't latch on, we found that putting cabbage leaves on the breasts between feedings can really help slow things down a little. But be careful! It can really dry you up, too. With our first baby, who really had trouble nursing, we had to use nipple shields for a while. We got them at Target and they didn't cost much, but have to be constantly cleaned. It was tough to get her "off" of them, but it was worth it because it got us over a terrible hump.

Other than that, you should really try to clue your husband into the idea that this is a team thing. That negativity can actually affect your production and your ability to feed. Tell him how much you need his support and how much your baby needs his support. You won't starve your baby. You really, really won't, unless you're a very, very rare case. Don't worry too much about doctors and what they say about how much on how many sides and how often.

It's tough. It's really not easy. Just revisiting this post (which was the first I ever made on this site) reminds me of what a hard time we had with our first one. But we had a wonderful support network and I have a wonderfully stubborn wife.

Good luck, let me know if there's anything else that I can do.

I am about to give birth any day now. I breastfed...

2010-11-10T11:42:31.437-06:00

I am about to give birth any day now. I breastfed my son for 4 months. Throughout that time, at all hours day and night, my husband would say, 'you are starving him' as I struggled to produce enough. I had thrush and sores and a lot of pain. Í have tried to explain to him the impact of his statements on my ability to produce milk, even after the sores had gone. But he won't hear it. He does not believe in the mind body connection when it comes to this- help! How can I make him understand I can't deal with the negative energy again- it is setting me up for failure!

Sol- if you want to read the comments they're ...

2010-08-30T14:03:10.263-05:00

Sol- if you want to read the comments they're at: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Dispelling-Breastfeeding-Myths/103045073084559?ref=sgm

By all means, 36D, link away! Keep the links comin...

2010-08-30T06:37:39.431-05:00

By all means, 36D, link away! Keep the links coming!

What a lovely blog! I hope you don't mind if I...

2010-08-30T05:00:54.281-05:00

What a lovely blog! I hope you don't mind if I link to it from my group?

There's surprisingly very little help for a lo...

2010-07-10T22:52:50.703-05:00

There's surprisingly very little help for a lot of the issues you mentioned. We've seen far too many LCs for our problems - not as many as yours in six weeks, but we're racking them up.

Thanks for that post. As another "breastfeedi...

2010-03-21T07:40:21.553-05:00

Thanks for that post. As another "breastfeeding dad", I feel like you were speaking for all of us. Different scenarios, but from the same place in the heart.

I'm a single dad, my wife died during child birth....

2009-03-02T14:21:00.000-06:00

I'm a single dad, my wife died during child birth. It was a very sad situation as I wished myslef that I could breastfeed our twin boys. I'm very envious that you were able to handle this situation with such dignity and care for both your girls and wife.

Blessings!

My wife's aunt is a militant lactation consultant ...

2009-01-05T14:01:00.000-06:00

My wife's aunt is a militant lactation consultant so the formula route was never really an option for us.

I guess I never thought about my role in the whole deal. I assumed she would take care of it and that would be that.

Thanks for the tips.

I like your comment about it being easier for the ...

2008-03-30T15:28:00.000-05:00

I like your comment about it being easier for the Dad to put your daughter to bed than your wife because she knows you aren't going to nurse her. We've been trying to work out why I'm so good at getting her to sleep and I think you've hit on the reason - my wife just offers too many distractions!

Yes, breastfeeding was the hardest and the best th...

2008-03-02T22:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, breastfeeding was the hardest and the best thing my husband and I have ever done after our son was born. And, I couldn't have done it without his support and direct involvement. Now that I am back to work (and our son is 8 months old), we have a new phase of breastfeeding we never expected - extra lipase in my milk that makes it go sour when it's frozen or refridgerated. My milk must be scalded on the stovetop before freezing it. We had to throw out our frozen stash, which almost made me cry. My husband is so supportive - he scalds and freezes the milk when I come home and make sure it makes it to day care. We believe our son's excellent health is primarily because we never went the formula route!
Mrs. LIAYF (posting from husband Jim's account)

You put it just right. I know firsthand that a hus...

2008-02-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

You put it just right. I know firsthand that a husband's support is what makes it all possible (or, at least, much, much easier), particularly in those early days when we felt like an octopus with feeding tubes and pumped milk until the easy bfing relationship got going.

I think this applies to birth as well -- I told my husband ahead of time that he had to be my rock, the person who never let up in encouraging me. Because if I could see his doubt, I might start doubting myself. You're right on, and kudos to you for being so supportive! It's wonderful to have a husband like that, calm and confident and a true parent.

Your post is call to action for fathers and father...

2008-01-30T04:30:00.000-06:00

Your post is call to action for fathers and fathers-to-be. The idea of you being the foundation is a great one. I definitely felt adrift at times in the first while after delivering my baby and I needed my husband to be rock solid. Thank goodness he was.

What a great post! I, too, have a very supportive...

2008-01-29T16:34:00.000-06:00

What a great post! I, too, have a very supportive hubby! I'll be sharing this link with him so he can read your story.

Thanks for sharing!

It sounds like you're a fantastic support to your ...

2008-01-29T08:44:00.000-06:00

It sounds like you're a fantastic support to your wife.

We also got by on Yoda's wisdom. Nobody here says they're going to breastfeed, they all say they'll give it a try. We decided that there was no "try"!

Like your wife, I had a hard first six weeks, but it was made easier by having great hubby support. It makes a world of difference to have a partner who really understands and supports you, I've seen women stop feeding to make their partners happy and that makes me sad.

Well done :)

What a blessing you are to your wife. I too am so ...

2008-01-29T05:46:00.000-06:00

What a blessing you are to your wife. I too am so thankful (and know without him, I never would have continued) for my husband's support and encouragement during our 3 breastfeeding. I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 4 years. There were many nights through post-partum frustration tears that I just wanted to give up, and he was encouraging and supportive, he's the reason I didn't.

Like you, my husband has been ubber supportive, co...

2008-01-28T20:18:00.000-06:00

Like you, my husband has been ubber supportive, compassionate and understanding through our highs and lows of nursing. I love that you wrote about breastfeeding involving the entire family- how TRUE! Breastfeeding moms and dads are awesome! Thank you for sharing your story...