It's nice that my old article about the role of a father in the breastfeeding relationship keeps getting discovered by more people. Maybe someday it will be a leather bound classic, adorning the kindle-shelves of a future society. Until then, it lives on in the Facebook page, Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths. I thought I'd go ahead and give this link-back so that my readers can see what's being done over there. Very good page!
In the meantime, our breastfeeding family has reached another milestone. In the last week, our daughter-number-three, Blue, has stopped breastfeeding at night. She wasn't thrilled about it all that much, but now she's sleeping much better, and so is Mama. Blue moved into her own bed just about a month ago, shacking up in the very large room of her two sisters. It's quite a circus in that room, but it's great when they play together and wonderful to hear the three of them chattering on a weekend morning.
If you have breastfeeding stories, or more places to go for breastfeeding support or general lactivism, let me know!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The Decline of Reading
I've been thinking about reading a lot lately. I've been reading about reading, which is a little weird. I am trying very hard to raise my daughters to be readers, but this is an increasing difficulty in our society.
When I was in college, I was never without a book. In between classes, while eating, while waiting for something interesting to happen, I was reading. My grades even suffered for all of my reading; I sometimes missed classes because I couldn't see sitting in a lecture hall when something exciting was going to happen in a book I was reading.
Now I teach college. I see students every day spending down time between classes or at the food court, and none of them--on average zero a day--are reading books. Instead, they're texting, playing "Angry Birds" on their iPhones, checking Facebook on their laptops, or doing god knows what else with every manner small handheld devices.
Texting is fun. I love my wife's iPod Touch. Hell, I even ordered a Kindle. Nothing will every replace reading for me. How can I reasonably accept that my daughters will be the same way?
Wait a minute! Why should I want them to be the same way? Because reading increases your vocabulary, IQ, knowledge base, and experience. People who are readers score higher on every test in ever subject opposed to people who are not readers.
Okay, so how can I hope my daughters will be reading books instead of otherwise wasting time in their lives?
Well, it starts with reading to them. If you read to your children for 20 minutes a day (or even to yourself for that long) that's 104 hours a year, or about 3,000 written pages (according to Jim Trelease in his book The Read-Aloud Handbook).
Also, model reading for your children. Show them that you want to read instead of watch TV or surf the web. Let them see you reading silently to yourself every day. Every day.
At least, I'm hoping all of this is true. For many of us--we who are readers--these are natural acts that you and your family enjoy. For others, it can be learned and a whole new world will open up to you.
When I was in college, I was never without a book. In between classes, while eating, while waiting for something interesting to happen, I was reading. My grades even suffered for all of my reading; I sometimes missed classes because I couldn't see sitting in a lecture hall when something exciting was going to happen in a book I was reading.
Now I teach college. I see students every day spending down time between classes or at the food court, and none of them--on average zero a day--are reading books. Instead, they're texting, playing "Angry Birds" on their iPhones, checking Facebook on their laptops, or doing god knows what else with every manner small handheld devices.
Texting is fun. I love my wife's iPod Touch. Hell, I even ordered a Kindle. Nothing will every replace reading for me. How can I reasonably accept that my daughters will be the same way?
Wait a minute! Why should I want them to be the same way? Because reading increases your vocabulary, IQ, knowledge base, and experience. People who are readers score higher on every test in ever subject opposed to people who are not readers.
Okay, so how can I hope my daughters will be reading books instead of otherwise wasting time in their lives?
Well, it starts with reading to them. If you read to your children for 20 minutes a day (or even to yourself for that long) that's 104 hours a year, or about 3,000 written pages (according to Jim Trelease in his book The Read-Aloud Handbook).
Also, model reading for your children. Show them that you want to read instead of watch TV or surf the web. Let them see you reading silently to yourself every day. Every day.
At least, I'm hoping all of this is true. For many of us--we who are readers--these are natural acts that you and your family enjoy. For others, it can be learned and a whole new world will open up to you.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Roadtrip with Children...Again
I'm lucky enough to be an educator and have a similar schedule as my kids during the summer. And living thousands of miles away from grandparents, people are willing to chip in a little for us to visit for a good amount of time during the summer. That's why this summer we packed up our three kids, two dogs, and one cat for an epic road trip.
We travel on the cheap. Not that it can ever get inexpensive. But bringing along dogs and cats saves a fortune on boarding costs. It also makes the drive that much more difficult. Making room for animals means shoving luggage on the roof and finding hotels that will take the whole brood without charging an arm and leg. Bidding on hotel rooms from free wi-fi hotspots can be be stressful as well as frustrating. And stopping to go to the bathroom for one person or animal or another every half hour can end up adding extra hotel stays (in the past we've saved money by camping. This time, we saved room in the car by not).
Despite the logistics of dragging everyone across 20 states, it was a pure joy. We got used to our routine on the road, stopping at crappy roadside attractions or majestic national parks. We got used to eating terrible food or great food that's terrible for you. And now, frankly, it's hard getting used to staying in one place for more than one night.
In many places where we'd stop, people would inquire about why we were on the road, where we were going, and how long we'd been gone. These are common enough questions, and my answers often elicited the common response: "You're braver than I am."
We've talked about this before, a couple years ago, how strange it is when someone thinks that what I'm doing is brave. It's not always easy traveling for so long with so many people and animals in one car, but it's always fun. It's never brave (barring dangerous situations which we luckily avoided).
It's a treat, is what it is! I'm a lucky person who has achieved his dream of being an educator with enough time off to be with his family for a significant part of the year.
But you know what really bothers me? The constant suggestion that we should get a DVD player for our kids in the car.
Really? We drove 8,500 miles and you think it's a good idea to have your kids plugged into a TV for that long? There was a magazine article that my wife read to me during the trip, where a woman talked about driving 3 hours with her two kids, saying that of course she had a DVD player because she's "not a masochist." You have to be a masochist to ride in a car with your kids for three hours? Dude. Step the hell up.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my kids had driven across the deserts of the southwest and remembered nothing but Dora the Explorer. I wouldn't be able to stand it if my kids had driven through Yosemite and Yellowstone and only remembered what happened on Shrek.
In a car, kids fight, kids bicker, kids complain, sure, but they also have fun. They also increase their worldview. My five year old daughter has seen 40 states--more than I had seen until I was 25! And she may not be learning as much as I am about it all, but she sure is hell isn't watching Dora. And the fighting, the bickering, and the complaining, well that's part of being a kid, too, and finding ways to navigate your way through it and still have a good trip is the most valuable lesson of all.
We, once again, kept our "good trip" tradition alive. If you've not been reading for two years, I'll tell you what it is. Whenever your grumpy, mad, irritated, or sad, you can always start over and decide to have a good time by just lifting your hand, making the "Good Trip" sign (thumb, pointer, and pinky extended, other fingers folded down) and exclaiming "Good Trip!" It works very well when it works and falls flat when it doesn't. But it keeps us reminded that being in a good mood and having a good time is as much a decision as it is anything else.
I'm thrilled to have had the chance to take this trip with my kids. And though I had to continue my school work throughout much of it and I had to attend a rather large conference in the middle of it, it was the time of my life; nothing brave about it.
We travel on the cheap. Not that it can ever get inexpensive. But bringing along dogs and cats saves a fortune on boarding costs. It also makes the drive that much more difficult. Making room for animals means shoving luggage on the roof and finding hotels that will take the whole brood without charging an arm and leg. Bidding on hotel rooms from free wi-fi hotspots can be be stressful as well as frustrating. And stopping to go to the bathroom for one person or animal or another every half hour can end up adding extra hotel stays (in the past we've saved money by camping. This time, we saved room in the car by not).
Despite the logistics of dragging everyone across 20 states, it was a pure joy. We got used to our routine on the road, stopping at crappy roadside attractions or majestic national parks. We got used to eating terrible food or great food that's terrible for you. And now, frankly, it's hard getting used to staying in one place for more than one night.
In many places where we'd stop, people would inquire about why we were on the road, where we were going, and how long we'd been gone. These are common enough questions, and my answers often elicited the common response: "You're braver than I am."
We've talked about this before, a couple years ago, how strange it is when someone thinks that what I'm doing is brave. It's not always easy traveling for so long with so many people and animals in one car, but it's always fun. It's never brave (barring dangerous situations which we luckily avoided).
It's a treat, is what it is! I'm a lucky person who has achieved his dream of being an educator with enough time off to be with his family for a significant part of the year.
But you know what really bothers me? The constant suggestion that we should get a DVD player for our kids in the car.
Really? We drove 8,500 miles and you think it's a good idea to have your kids plugged into a TV for that long? There was a magazine article that my wife read to me during the trip, where a woman talked about driving 3 hours with her two kids, saying that of course she had a DVD player because she's "not a masochist." You have to be a masochist to ride in a car with your kids for three hours? Dude. Step the hell up.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my kids had driven across the deserts of the southwest and remembered nothing but Dora the Explorer. I wouldn't be able to stand it if my kids had driven through Yosemite and Yellowstone and only remembered what happened on Shrek.
In a car, kids fight, kids bicker, kids complain, sure, but they also have fun. They also increase their worldview. My five year old daughter has seen 40 states--more than I had seen until I was 25! And she may not be learning as much as I am about it all, but she sure is hell isn't watching Dora. And the fighting, the bickering, and the complaining, well that's part of being a kid, too, and finding ways to navigate your way through it and still have a good trip is the most valuable lesson of all.
We, once again, kept our "good trip" tradition alive. If you've not been reading for two years, I'll tell you what it is. Whenever your grumpy, mad, irritated, or sad, you can always start over and decide to have a good time by just lifting your hand, making the "Good Trip" sign (thumb, pointer, and pinky extended, other fingers folded down) and exclaiming "Good Trip!" It works very well when it works and falls flat when it doesn't. But it keeps us reminded that being in a good mood and having a good time is as much a decision as it is anything else.
I'm thrilled to have had the chance to take this trip with my kids. And though I had to continue my school work throughout much of it and I had to attend a rather large conference in the middle of it, it was the time of my life; nothing brave about it.
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