Balance in life and work is hard to acheive. At what point does putting family first mean that you sacrifice yourself for their good? I've been thinking about this recently as I've been increasingly short-tempered and withdrawn while working on and thinking about this dissertation I'm writing. In many ways, my concern for this dissertation is rotting my ability to enjoy an evening with my family. And yet, it is for them that I reach for this degree. A greater job security, a better job performance, a more knowledgable instructor; these things are ultimately important for my family.
We've been watching John Adams via Netflix over the last week. I had heard it was good and faithful to the book, and I have to say that I am very impressed with it.
We watched as John Adams told his wife that he was needed in France. He was a hero, a philosopher, and a patriot. His dedication to founding this country is nothing less than inspiring. Watching it, I realized something. Whatever other shortcoming I may have, there is one very major difference between me and a man remembered so greatly as John Adams: I could never put my country ahead of my family to that degree.
I understand that my times are different than his. That by putting his country first, he was providing freedom and opportunity for not only his children, but his posterity. But as valuable as that is, I am too selfish a man to do such a thing. I could never leave my family like that.
I feel like, in many ways, we have built a Tempest-like island in our family. Like Prospero, I am unable to let the rest of the world intrude upon that island. Thus the no TV thing, the hate of advertisements, the resentment of a consumer culture that would have us find meaning through objects and lifestyles through services. Quoting another patriot, Jefferson swore "hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." And I feel like it is the very minds of my family that this consumer-culture hopes to control.
I stray too far from my course.
I suppose devotion to family comes in many ways. From back-breaking labor, to traveling for business, to getting into mountains of debt on the way to an education to secure a meaningful job that ensures a quality of life and time home with the family. It seems an awful burden at times, being a father to a family and being a provider of futures. It's amazing that we do it.
I can see, at times, how this diachotomy can end up being a snake that eats its own tail. It's a line I will try to walk carefully.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Getting Ready for the Birth
I've been thinking.
There's a baby living inside my wife's stomach. It kicks and moves and stretches and sleeps and eats. Regardless of how happy it might be in there, it's outgrowing its space.
I can't believe we're almost there. We're almost a family of five. It seems like such a long time ago when we found out she was pregnant, and yet it seems like everything went so instantly. Incidentally, when we did find out, we were camping on the beach near Santa Cruz. My wife came out to the cliff where my daughters and I were watching the ocean and waved her pee-stick in the air excitedly. We explained to the kids that this was going to be a long time, but they'd have a new sibling, etc. And now Solstice goes around saying, "Do you remember that we were camping and daddy put a baby in you?" Real. Nice.
Whenever it happened, we're almost to the end of this journey. And the house is a mess. And until a couple days ago, we didn't have any clothes at all for this unknown person we're bringing in. And we've been spending money on cloth diapers for some months (that's another post). It's strange how you can just go and make a human for free, but that they don't come with anything. You have to accessorize yourself.
In many ways, there is no being ready for the baby. Saying that our preparations are making us ready is like being ready for a nuclear blast by putting on safety glasses. But really, this house is a mess.
I don't know at what point this pregnancy seemed real to me. As a father, I have the luxury of not having a constant and physical reminder of the impending. I have the luxury of even just not thinking about it once in a while, if my thoughts fall to something else. But intermittently throughout the last nine months, I've been struck by this overwhelming reality. The reality that we've made another interpretation of what it is to be human and we're going to be raising it soon.
We took a "survivor" childbirth course at our birthing center. It didn't do much for us but let us talk to other parents about their experiences. Then my sister bought us a Yoga for Childbirth class at the studio where she works in Austin. It was pretty neat and gave us a great review of the "gates of labor" and what to be looking out for.
And sill, ready isn't anywhere on the map.
I've talked to people at work about it. I have someone lined up to take my classes while I'm gone. But it is frustrating that the world insists on keeping up all the activity while you're trying to break-in your new life. It'd be great if every time it happened, people around you would courteously pause for a few weeks while you got your sea-legs. Of course, I suppose, they'd still not have resumed from my first kid.
We're sitting right now at 38 weeks. We don't have a record of going early; our first daughter was on her due date and our second was 8 days late. So I'm not holding my breath yet, packing bags for the birthing center or anything. We haven't thought about what food to bring, or what clothes to bring for the girls, should things happen at night, and we haven't memorized our midwife's phone numbers or even programed them into a phone. Hell, I don't even know where to find it written anywhere.
So, no. We're not ready.
We don't even know if this baby is going to be a brother and son or a daughter and sister. Hair color? Musical preference? Demeanor? Bad habits? We know nothing about this kid.
And yet.
With all of this under preparedness, our lives are going to have a huge hole in the hull and start taking on water fast once this thing finally bursts. But I know this particular iceberg is going to be worth all the trouble.
We are not ready for this at all. And I just can't wait.
There's a baby living inside my wife's stomach. It kicks and moves and stretches and sleeps and eats. Regardless of how happy it might be in there, it's outgrowing its space.
I can't believe we're almost there. We're almost a family of five. It seems like such a long time ago when we found out she was pregnant, and yet it seems like everything went so instantly. Incidentally, when we did find out, we were camping on the beach near Santa Cruz. My wife came out to the cliff where my daughters and I were watching the ocean and waved her pee-stick in the air excitedly. We explained to the kids that this was going to be a long time, but they'd have a new sibling, etc. And now Solstice goes around saying, "Do you remember that we were camping and daddy put a baby in you?" Real. Nice.
Whenever it happened, we're almost to the end of this journey. And the house is a mess. And until a couple days ago, we didn't have any clothes at all for this unknown person we're bringing in. And we've been spending money on cloth diapers for some months (that's another post). It's strange how you can just go and make a human for free, but that they don't come with anything. You have to accessorize yourself.
In many ways, there is no being ready for the baby. Saying that our preparations are making us ready is like being ready for a nuclear blast by putting on safety glasses. But really, this house is a mess.
I don't know at what point this pregnancy seemed real to me. As a father, I have the luxury of not having a constant and physical reminder of the impending. I have the luxury of even just not thinking about it once in a while, if my thoughts fall to something else. But intermittently throughout the last nine months, I've been struck by this overwhelming reality. The reality that we've made another interpretation of what it is to be human and we're going to be raising it soon.
We took a "survivor" childbirth course at our birthing center. It didn't do much for us but let us talk to other parents about their experiences. Then my sister bought us a Yoga for Childbirth class at the studio where she works in Austin. It was pretty neat and gave us a great review of the "gates of labor" and what to be looking out for.
And sill, ready isn't anywhere on the map.
I've talked to people at work about it. I have someone lined up to take my classes while I'm gone. But it is frustrating that the world insists on keeping up all the activity while you're trying to break-in your new life. It'd be great if every time it happened, people around you would courteously pause for a few weeks while you got your sea-legs. Of course, I suppose, they'd still not have resumed from my first kid.
We're sitting right now at 38 weeks. We don't have a record of going early; our first daughter was on her due date and our second was 8 days late. So I'm not holding my breath yet, packing bags for the birthing center or anything. We haven't thought about what food to bring, or what clothes to bring for the girls, should things happen at night, and we haven't memorized our midwife's phone numbers or even programed them into a phone. Hell, I don't even know where to find it written anywhere.
So, no. We're not ready.
We don't even know if this baby is going to be a brother and son or a daughter and sister. Hair color? Musical preference? Demeanor? Bad habits? We know nothing about this kid.
And yet.
With all of this under preparedness, our lives are going to have a huge hole in the hull and start taking on water fast once this thing finally bursts. But I know this particular iceberg is going to be worth all the trouble.
We are not ready for this at all. And I just can't wait.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Murder/Suicide is not Badass
I can't stand this new trend that has been keeping the media going for the last several weeks. A guy loses his job, comes home, shoots his wife and children and then kills himself.
Who could do this? Who could veer so quickly from a normal person to an absolute demon who would turn a gun on his family? And for what? For money? Really? Kill yourself, dude, don't go taking your family down with you. Or, better yet, just walk away. Or, hey, deal with it. Show your kids that there is something in this life more important than money and jobs and it's their love, for god's sake.
We live in a shared cognitive reality. We all agree that certain things are important and certain things are desirable. That's how a society makes sense out of things as quickly and efficiently as possible (even if accuracy isn't a goal) and makes it possible for society to continue to grow as an organism.
So we have money. If I write "100" on a piece of paper, no one wants it. But if I have a different piece of paper that has a "100" on it and it happens to be the one that everyone agrees is worth something, then people want it. I see this in my kids. One daughter gets a hold of a bead she found on the ground at a park. It's a nothing little dirty orange bead. And she drops it. Then, the other daughter picks up the bead and exclaims, "Oh, wow, what a beautiful bead! It's magical" and then the fight starts. The I-had-it-firsts and such.
The bead has no value except that it is exclusive. It can only be held by one person. This is the same thing as money.
And we've gotten to a place where this matters so much that the economy is not just a metaphor for our happiness, but is the happiness. I just don't like it. I can't stand the way this priority is splashed all over everything so pervasively that this kind of thing happens.
Loosing a job is sad, loosing money is sad, but killing your kids?
The most recent such killing happened today in Ohio. And what did the newspapers do first? They called the man's employer to see if he had lost his job. That was the first thing they did. As if in our new reality, that makes some sort of logical sense, some sort of justification or motive that should be respected. Turns out, he hadn't lost his job. The papers are baffled.
Anyway, it sickens me. To no end, this sickens me. Get your head out of your ass, people. Remember what your priorities should be. Why did you have the job in the first place? Security for your family? Don't put the goddamn cart so far in front of the horse.
Who could do this? Who could veer so quickly from a normal person to an absolute demon who would turn a gun on his family? And for what? For money? Really? Kill yourself, dude, don't go taking your family down with you. Or, better yet, just walk away. Or, hey, deal with it. Show your kids that there is something in this life more important than money and jobs and it's their love, for god's sake.
We live in a shared cognitive reality. We all agree that certain things are important and certain things are desirable. That's how a society makes sense out of things as quickly and efficiently as possible (even if accuracy isn't a goal) and makes it possible for society to continue to grow as an organism.
So we have money. If I write "100" on a piece of paper, no one wants it. But if I have a different piece of paper that has a "100" on it and it happens to be the one that everyone agrees is worth something, then people want it. I see this in my kids. One daughter gets a hold of a bead she found on the ground at a park. It's a nothing little dirty orange bead. And she drops it. Then, the other daughter picks up the bead and exclaims, "Oh, wow, what a beautiful bead! It's magical" and then the fight starts. The I-had-it-firsts and such.
The bead has no value except that it is exclusive. It can only be held by one person. This is the same thing as money.
And we've gotten to a place where this matters so much that the economy is not just a metaphor for our happiness, but is the happiness. I just don't like it. I can't stand the way this priority is splashed all over everything so pervasively that this kind of thing happens.
Loosing a job is sad, loosing money is sad, but killing your kids?
The most recent such killing happened today in Ohio. And what did the newspapers do first? They called the man's employer to see if he had lost his job. That was the first thing they did. As if in our new reality, that makes some sort of logical sense, some sort of justification or motive that should be respected. Turns out, he hadn't lost his job. The papers are baffled.
Anyway, it sickens me. To no end, this sickens me. Get your head out of your ass, people. Remember what your priorities should be. Why did you have the job in the first place? Security for your family? Don't put the goddamn cart so far in front of the horse.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Top 10 Badass Dad Posts by Hits
Some of my favorite posts on this end up popular, and some don't. More surprisingly, many posts that I find just fine end up very popular. Continuing my celebration of the first year of How to be a Badass Dad, the following 10 posts are the most popular by hits:
10. 10 Ways to Claim Your Day
This one made my list of favorites and this one. It got a big boost by being linked by Steve-Olson.com. Plus, it was kindly listed by other bloggers who found it and enjoyed it.
9. Potty Party may turn to Pity Party
I have a pretty high search ranking for "Potty Party." Just last week, I beat out Dr. Phil's instructions about how to throw a potty party. And with good cause; how many potty parties (besides his own) do you think Dr. Phil has thrown? I've thrown two and neither of them were mine.
8. What to Expect during the First Trimester
Turns out there are a lot of first-time dads out there looking for a road map for this whole pregnancy thing. A lot of them don't know where to look, so they end up coming here. I'd really like to know if this lonely post serves them well or not. The fact that so many people are out there searching for this topic supports my efforts to get a How to be a Badass Dad book published. So far, though, literary agents have only told me that men aren't interested enough in parenting to buy a book.
7. The Breastfeeding Father
Still can't get away from this one. Links to this on have been posted by many mommy-bloggers who appreciate the loving support of their husbands in this complex relationship.
6. Baby Wearing
Turns out that whenever I walk outside the house wearing a baby or two, I draw attention. I think it sucks to see babies strolled around in huge Cadillac strollers and carried in snugglies and bjorns. The Mei Tei, Ergo, Becco, and Moby are just so much better. I've been glad to be a humble source of information for those who have found this post.
5. Activities for a Rainy Day
This is another one that draws a lot of engine traffic. There are lots of great books about these things, people! Or, just play with the kids for a while. Lately, our best bet has been to hand our kids saftey-scissors and paper. Hours of fun...well, minutes, anway.
4. 5 Quotes to Live By
There are hundreds of people a month out there who search "Badass quotes" and end up on this post. I didn't know there was such a market for those.
3. The Sex Talk
Lots of people loved this one, and frankly, I didn't care for it all that much. I guess people thought the phrase, "Oh, he uses his magic wand" was considered pretty funny. It was a hit on StumbleUpon, at least. Unfortunatley, though, this post's popularity has also been tainted. Many people found it by searching for, shall I say, inappropriate relationships between fathers and daughters. Sickening.
2. Communicating with your Spouse 101
I dig this post a lot. It was linked by Stroller Derby when I was the "Crush of the Week." Thanks, guys! But it has also been greatly criticized for making generalizations. Yeah, it does. Sorry 'bout that.
1. Giving Up TV
I'm amazed at how amazed people are that we gave up TV. Our lives have been so much better! Guess what, we're giving up cell phones this month! Take that, technology.
10. 10 Ways to Claim Your Day
This one made my list of favorites and this one. It got a big boost by being linked by Steve-Olson.com. Plus, it was kindly listed by other bloggers who found it and enjoyed it.
9. Potty Party may turn to Pity Party
I have a pretty high search ranking for "Potty Party." Just last week, I beat out Dr. Phil's instructions about how to throw a potty party. And with good cause; how many potty parties (besides his own) do you think Dr. Phil has thrown? I've thrown two and neither of them were mine.
8. What to Expect during the First Trimester
Turns out there are a lot of first-time dads out there looking for a road map for this whole pregnancy thing. A lot of them don't know where to look, so they end up coming here. I'd really like to know if this lonely post serves them well or not. The fact that so many people are out there searching for this topic supports my efforts to get a How to be a Badass Dad book published. So far, though, literary agents have only told me that men aren't interested enough in parenting to buy a book.
7. The Breastfeeding Father
Still can't get away from this one. Links to this on have been posted by many mommy-bloggers who appreciate the loving support of their husbands in this complex relationship.
6. Baby Wearing
Turns out that whenever I walk outside the house wearing a baby or two, I draw attention. I think it sucks to see babies strolled around in huge Cadillac strollers and carried in snugglies and bjorns. The Mei Tei, Ergo, Becco, and Moby are just so much better. I've been glad to be a humble source of information for those who have found this post.
5. Activities for a Rainy Day
This is another one that draws a lot of engine traffic. There are lots of great books about these things, people! Or, just play with the kids for a while. Lately, our best bet has been to hand our kids saftey-scissors and paper. Hours of fun...well, minutes, anway.
4. 5 Quotes to Live By
There are hundreds of people a month out there who search "Badass quotes" and end up on this post. I didn't know there was such a market for those.
3. The Sex Talk
Lots of people loved this one, and frankly, I didn't care for it all that much. I guess people thought the phrase, "Oh, he uses his magic wand" was considered pretty funny. It was a hit on StumbleUpon, at least. Unfortunatley, though, this post's popularity has also been tainted. Many people found it by searching for, shall I say, inappropriate relationships between fathers and daughters. Sickening.
2. Communicating with your Spouse 101
I dig this post a lot. It was linked by Stroller Derby when I was the "Crush of the Week." Thanks, guys! But it has also been greatly criticized for making generalizations. Yeah, it does. Sorry 'bout that.
1. Giving Up TV
I'm amazed at how amazed people are that we gave up TV. Our lives have been so much better! Guess what, we're giving up cell phones this month! Take that, technology.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Top 10 Badass Dad Posts, Author's choice
Hello, folks. How to be a Badass Dad has been on the net for12 months now. While I was hoping that the sheer popularity of this blog would pay my bills by now, I'm actually just happy to have posted semi-consistently for a year.
I'm celebrating (with or without you) by making a post of my 10 favorite Badass Dad posts. Tomorrow, I plan on posting the top 10 by popularity. Maybe you're like me (or are me) and are nostalgic to look back at the year. Or, maybe you're new around here and want to get a primer.
Here they are, almost in order:
10. 20 Great Books to get you Reading
At the end of every semester, I give my students a list of books that they should read. I feel like reading is a wonderful and engaging pastime that transcends it's usefulness in education to enrich people's lives. Unfortunately, the mass media drives kids away from reading with one hand while acting like they support it with their other hand. A case in point is a quote I heard in a movie preview lately, "There's noting better than a good book except a movie about a good book." Head explode. These books are exciting and accessible and right up my alley, at least.
9. Camping with Children
Camping is very close to my family's heart, the same goes for road trips and driving in general. We feel a closeness and happiness when we're on the road like we don't feel any other time. Many people are afraid to go camping with their kids, but I encorage everyone to put all their expectations aside and give it a shot.
8. Citizenship and Personal Freedom
I wrote this post the week before the most recent election. I'm enamored with our country's history and high ideals, even if they are always realized. I think that we need to remember that it's not up to the government to realize these ideals, but ourselves. I ask that we see that we are responsible for inventing our world and that if we let someone else, like major corporations, do it for us, we'll never be happy with it.
7. Breastfeeding, HH Dalai Lama, and Not Ruining your Kids
I watch and am amazed by my kids all the time. I am in constant fear that something I do is going to make them conform, make them loose imagination, make them less than who they are. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not up to the task of raising these kids because they are so beyond me. But the Dalai Lama reminded me of just how natural raising kids really is, and how love and kindness is all you need, not perfection. Also, I love any chance to flex the lactivist muscles.
6. The Power of Language in Childhood
Some of my very favorite posts come from watching my kids and remembering what it was like to be their age. I apply that memory to my pastime of deconstructing the world around me and then pretending like I'm an expert in a subject I know nothing about, like linguistics and psychology, for example. Whatever my ethos, this is a great post for anyone with kids who are just learning to talk.
5. The Breastfeeding Father
I just can't seem to shake this one. This is the first piece I've ever published about parenting--almost 3 years ago--and it has been published now in two magazines and included in several blog carnivals. I think that the misleading image that the title provides may be somewhat responsible for it's popularity. Whatever the case, it was a joy to get to write about the significant relationship a father has in the breastfeeding of a family.
4. 10 Ways to Claim Your Day
This one got a big boost when it was linked from Steve-Olson upon it's publication. It got another boost when Maria Shriver linked it from a guest blog that she did. Something that my dad always says is, "Stop playing defense, get on offense." That quote inspired this post. Another great quote, this one by Emerson, speaks to it: "When a dog charges you, whistle for it." Too many people I know (myself included a lot of the time) feel like they are being kicked around by their day. This post hopes to remedy that feeling.
3. Education vs. Schooling (On Steve-Olson.com)
This is a bit of a cheat. I wrote this as a guest spot on Steve-Olson.com. It was a real pleasure and honor to get this posted on what is surely my favorite blog out there about personal freedom. I was very excited to get to write my feelings about the battle between real-world and formalized education. As I near the end of my very last degree, a Doctorate of Education, I've become very enamored with this relationship. Writing this post gave me the idea to someday write a memoir of my experiences in formal education. Don't worry; you don't have to read it.
2. Patience and Understanding; Discipline and Arguments
Of all my posts, this is the one that I think about the most. When my daughters start throwing a huge fit--especially at inopportune times--I remember that I wrote these works about patients and understanding and the idea that these qualities would never be developed if we didnt have a chance to practice them. If I recall, I was on a huge Buddhism kick when I wrote this.
1. Imagination and Curiosity
If I had to say that one of my posts was somehow more important than all the others, I'd say that this is the one. As adults, it's easy for us to buy into everyone else's vision of the world and forget how fluid and wonderful our children's view is. Imagination and curiosity aren't just part of growing up, but part of forming the world for our children.
Oh well, Bonus: Are the Sexes Equal?
I forgot about this one until just right now. Being a father of two daughters, I'm not happy about how marketing treats girls. I could write a book about the subject, but it would be extrememly ranting and raving with no coherent structure aside from flaming hot anger.
My intentions with this blog, I feel, have been very noble. When I set out to make this blog, I was worried about coming off as a know-it-all braggart (like I do in real life). I wanted to make it clear that this was a place to raise questions and intropections, not make answers and generalization. I feel that the world is best understood through questions and that the anwer rarely matters as much as mindfully approaching your surroundings.
Parenting, I feel, is the most important thing I will ever do. I don't want to get to comfortable and start thinking I know much about it. This blog is a place for me to put "on paper" my questions, concerns, and observations about being a father; to keep me honest, so to speak. Thank you for joining me for the past year, and I hope you'll stick with me in the future.
I'm celebrating (with or without you) by making a post of my 10 favorite Badass Dad posts. Tomorrow, I plan on posting the top 10 by popularity. Maybe you're like me (or are me) and are nostalgic to look back at the year. Or, maybe you're new around here and want to get a primer.
Here they are, almost in order:
10. 20 Great Books to get you Reading
At the end of every semester, I give my students a list of books that they should read. I feel like reading is a wonderful and engaging pastime that transcends it's usefulness in education to enrich people's lives. Unfortunately, the mass media drives kids away from reading with one hand while acting like they support it with their other hand. A case in point is a quote I heard in a movie preview lately, "There's noting better than a good book except a movie about a good book." Head explode. These books are exciting and accessible and right up my alley, at least.
9. Camping with Children
Camping is very close to my family's heart, the same goes for road trips and driving in general. We feel a closeness and happiness when we're on the road like we don't feel any other time. Many people are afraid to go camping with their kids, but I encorage everyone to put all their expectations aside and give it a shot.
8. Citizenship and Personal Freedom
I wrote this post the week before the most recent election. I'm enamored with our country's history and high ideals, even if they are always realized. I think that we need to remember that it's not up to the government to realize these ideals, but ourselves. I ask that we see that we are responsible for inventing our world and that if we let someone else, like major corporations, do it for us, we'll never be happy with it.
7. Breastfeeding, HH Dalai Lama, and Not Ruining your Kids
I watch and am amazed by my kids all the time. I am in constant fear that something I do is going to make them conform, make them loose imagination, make them less than who they are. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not up to the task of raising these kids because they are so beyond me. But the Dalai Lama reminded me of just how natural raising kids really is, and how love and kindness is all you need, not perfection. Also, I love any chance to flex the lactivist muscles.
6. The Power of Language in Childhood
Some of my very favorite posts come from watching my kids and remembering what it was like to be their age. I apply that memory to my pastime of deconstructing the world around me and then pretending like I'm an expert in a subject I know nothing about, like linguistics and psychology, for example. Whatever my ethos, this is a great post for anyone with kids who are just learning to talk.
5. The Breastfeeding Father
I just can't seem to shake this one. This is the first piece I've ever published about parenting--almost 3 years ago--and it has been published now in two magazines and included in several blog carnivals. I think that the misleading image that the title provides may be somewhat responsible for it's popularity. Whatever the case, it was a joy to get to write about the significant relationship a father has in the breastfeeding of a family.
4. 10 Ways to Claim Your Day
This one got a big boost when it was linked from Steve-Olson upon it's publication. It got another boost when Maria Shriver linked it from a guest blog that she did. Something that my dad always says is, "Stop playing defense, get on offense." That quote inspired this post. Another great quote, this one by Emerson, speaks to it: "When a dog charges you, whistle for it." Too many people I know (myself included a lot of the time) feel like they are being kicked around by their day. This post hopes to remedy that feeling.
3. Education vs. Schooling (On Steve-Olson.com)
This is a bit of a cheat. I wrote this as a guest spot on Steve-Olson.com. It was a real pleasure and honor to get this posted on what is surely my favorite blog out there about personal freedom. I was very excited to get to write my feelings about the battle between real-world and formalized education. As I near the end of my very last degree, a Doctorate of Education, I've become very enamored with this relationship. Writing this post gave me the idea to someday write a memoir of my experiences in formal education. Don't worry; you don't have to read it.
2. Patience and Understanding; Discipline and Arguments
Of all my posts, this is the one that I think about the most. When my daughters start throwing a huge fit--especially at inopportune times--I remember that I wrote these works about patients and understanding and the idea that these qualities would never be developed if we didnt have a chance to practice them. If I recall, I was on a huge Buddhism kick when I wrote this.
1. Imagination and Curiosity
If I had to say that one of my posts was somehow more important than all the others, I'd say that this is the one. As adults, it's easy for us to buy into everyone else's vision of the world and forget how fluid and wonderful our children's view is. Imagination and curiosity aren't just part of growing up, but part of forming the world for our children.
Oh well, Bonus: Are the Sexes Equal?
I forgot about this one until just right now. Being a father of two daughters, I'm not happy about how marketing treats girls. I could write a book about the subject, but it would be extrememly ranting and raving with no coherent structure aside from flaming hot anger.
My intentions with this blog, I feel, have been very noble. When I set out to make this blog, I was worried about coming off as a know-it-all braggart (like I do in real life). I wanted to make it clear that this was a place to raise questions and intropections, not make answers and generalization. I feel that the world is best understood through questions and that the anwer rarely matters as much as mindfully approaching your surroundings.
Parenting, I feel, is the most important thing I will ever do. I don't want to get to comfortable and start thinking I know much about it. This blog is a place for me to put "on paper" my questions, concerns, and observations about being a father; to keep me honest, so to speak. Thank you for joining me for the past year, and I hope you'll stick with me in the future.
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