Camping with Children

In two weeks, my family is going to go off on a brave adventure: camping across the western US. This year marks the fifth year of our marriage. On our honeymoon, we camped across the entire country, from California to Vermont and back. Granted, we caved and stayed in the odd motel or so and surfed on friends' couches here and there, but a good deal of it was spent camping.

But things are different five years later. We have two kids and two dogs to take along with us. There's complications with eating, excessive "dark," using the potty, and a general resistance to flexibility to deal with. But saving $90 a night will help to offset the price of gas and cooking our own food will be cheaper than roadside fair as well (that's right--we really want to stretch that stimulus check we'll be getting shortly).

To explore the intricacies of camping with children--which we hadn't done for a year--we went on a short over-night camping trip to a nearby national forest a week ago. Here are some things we've encountered:

Being Outside: The kids love and treasure outside-time. We know this from playing outside and cooking outside, but it is especially evident while camping. When else do you get to spend hour upon hour solidly outside? It just doesn't happen much where we live or at least how we live. But the outside world is endlessly interesting and enriching offering us plenty of activities that don't involve much organization if any.

The benefits of being dirty: It's nice to be able to tell the kids to go ahead and be as dirty as they need to be. Especially in our 3 year old, there seems to be a resistance to--not getting dirty--but staying dirty. While camping, it's unavoidable that you will be dirty, so telling them so is somewhat of a liberation. Our eldest kept reminding us throughout the two days, "Look, I'm dirty, but it's okay." It never before has crossed my mind how much we must subtle encourage cleanliness in our day-to-day.

Hidden Dangers: Where we live, in southeastern Texas, there is a lot to be wary of. Poison ivy and oak are all around, as well as roughly 65 billion types of poisonous snake. There are insects like asps and scorpions that are better left alone. The lakes in the area house plenty of gators that would find our 2 year old a delightful snack. So there does end up being a bit much of the "stay close" and "get out of the bushes" from time to time. It didn't seem to bother them much.

Sleeping in a tent: This is fun for the kids, though a bit scary, too. We had the idea that they would sleep on one side and the parents could cuddle up in a separate area. No chance. We were a woven tapestry of humanity the night long. This is fine once expectations are abandoned. There is also plenty of need to reassure kids during sounds outside. Once in a while, I also need reassurance.

Play equipment: You don't need a lot of equipment for kids to play with. Lots of camping rituals provide structured fun; roasting marshmallows seems to be much more fun than eating them. we did bring sand pales and shovels and they chose to do a lot of digging. But exploration of leaves, bugs, and toads was more than enough for them most of the time.

Be prepared: This story is really told best by my wife. Okay, I'm the dumb one here. In the year we've had our trusty mini-van, I've never had to change its tire. Sure enough, waking up to a brisk morning, I saw that we had a flat over night. Getting that spare tire out from under was impossible--until I found out the right way to do it two hours later. There was no cell phone reception and no Google to help me out of the situation. Then, once that problem was solved, we discovered that a late-night diaper change led to a light being left on and eventually to a dead battery. When we finally tracked someone down to give us a jump (and we forgot our own cables), our German Shepard, Blitzen, threatened by the man's proximity to our daughter, decided to pounce the guy. Yeah, it was a great morning.

It's not like grown-up camping. The night doesn't get late enough before it's bed time, the little legs can limit long hikes, and you never have to remind your wife to move away from the fire nearly as much as you do your toddlers. But camping with kids can be fun and enriching. There is no limit to the opportunities for curious kids. They can't wait to go on our adventure, and neither can we. I'll be honest and update if we end up in a Super 8 due to rain or cold, but we're going to try and go all the way.

One Year Without TV

This last week was national Turn Off TV Week. It happens to mark the one-year anniversary of my family being without TV. It's hard to believe that it's been only a year, and a year ago I never would have thought that it would last.

Let me clarify, though. My family does own a TV. But we've tamed it. We haven't had or paid for service for a year, but we can watch movies on DVD and shows on AppleTV, should we choose. The virtues of this are found in having no commercials and in being properly mindful about what we watch. Still, we can over do it so things like Turn Off TV Week come along at great times.

We decided to downgrade our TV to monitor status at the end of last year's Turn Off TV Week. It was an eye opening experience for us that made us a stronger family. Without shows to watch, we find ourselves with extra time. We find ourselves spending more time with each other and paying more attention to the family in general. Without commercials, we've cut begging for things out of our family experience altogether. While this year's experiment wasn't nearly as elaborate as last years--as we have cut our watching down to about 10% of what it used to be--we still took some time to ourselves to celebrate not having a light-and-sound-box communicating with us. Last week, we went to the zoo, played outside, read more, spent time at the library, fixed the A/C unit, and took care of my wife while she fought off the worst flu-sore-throat-combination-nightmare of all time. Yes, it can come at bad times, but we managed fine.

This last year without a TV has been nothing less than liberating. No longer do we watch shows that we don't enjoy, or flip channels, or have to sit through commercials while waiting to see what's going to happen to Ben on Lost. No longer do we make plans to be home by a certain time or go to bed at a certain time in order to accommodate the schedule of the small-screen. Our daughters have no idea what Bratz are, who Miley Cyrus is, or just how annoying Elmo can be. They are free from the marketing of those things, free to make a choice that has nothing to do with conformity or acceptance from people who don't know you as anything but a consumer of their products.

We are free of celebrity news. We are free of investigative reports about child predators. We are free of nasally narrators on Swiffer commercials, and Truck Month, and Gwen Stephani, and political ad campaigns, and whatever other forms of Hell that are lurking around out there.

While discussing TV as a medium of popular culture, I offered my students the idea of going without TV for a week and writing about it. Not one student took me up. They laughed and scoffed at the idea that a life without TV was somehow better.

And maybe it's not inherently better. But it's more yours. You manage time differently; watch less and do more. Your thoughts are unencumbered by commercial jingles and Family Guy reruns. Television time is time that you surrender to someone else. It's time that you give up and let someone else live for you. And, my students are right, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

But shouldn't someone be willing to try going without it for one week? The fear that they expressed over the idea was enough to show the virtues of the project. What is wrong with us that we can't miss a week's worth of shows? What's wrong with our lifestyles if that is frightening to us?

The week may be over, but it's not too late. Try it yourself. Don't shy away from having some extra time for your family this week.

Turn Off your TV and Computer Week

April 21-27th is Turn Off Your TV Week. This isn't just limited to TV, but to "screen time." So, turn off your computer now. Go outside. I don't care if it's raining, do something with your family. We'll talk about things next week.

Is Bedtime a Badtime?

Bedtime seems to go in cycles around here. Just when we get in a comfortable phase of putting them in bed, all bathed and happy, kissing them goodnight and tiptoeing away to the melodious sound of synchronized snores, things change.

The change seems to happen the night after (or the minute after) one of us remarks to the other parent "Wow, they sure are good at going to bed these days." Then bedtime reverts to the all out war that it seems to be about two weeks out of the month.

I have a theory that it's not because we've done anything wrong that this change happens. I don't generally credit it to a change in diet, or a change in routine, or a change in the stars. It just seems like consistency isn't what they're looking for a bedtime--at least not long term. They want the routine changed every so often and by the time they tell you they want the change, it's too late.

We cycle through different pre-bedtime rituals to try and make the night go down more smoothly. From this following list, we mix and match until we have a mixed grill of a nighttime schedule that works for the next few weeks.

Reading at Bedtime: This is a classic for obvious reasons. It gives us some time to wind-down, talk calmly, and read something that is comforting (even though I like them best when they get just a little bit scary in there). My favorite bedtime stories are from Maurice Sendak, but don't stop with Where the Wild Things Are; also try Outside over There and The Night Kitchen.

Singing: I happen to enjoy singing lullabies. I don't think that it's a good idea to introduce this ritual if you don't enjoy it. It has staying power and you will have requests over and over again. I usually take this one out of the routine when I notice that my girls are staying awake just to make me sing more. My favorites to sing are "Feed the Birds," "Sweet Baby James," and "Pooh Corner." But they often make me sing a drawn-out version of The Decemberists "The Crane Wife" oddly enough.

Bedtime Music: We have a small CD player that we play lullabies on. This works sometimes as a substitute to singing and sometimes in addition to. We have a few different CDs and mixes to change things up. But, like all these others, their tastes sometime drift away from this ritual.

Story of the Day: This is especially good if we've had long, active days or had visitors. We sit and talk about all the things we did today, each taking turns coming up with details to fill it out. Then, we end by planning out our next day. This works really well for making our expectations if we have big plans for tomorrow.

Holding Hands: Sometimes I have to sit there and hold hands until my older daughter goes to sleep. This only works when she's really tired and had some kind of a scare. She is usually asleep pretty fast, or I just can't stay there all night and she moves into our bed. Holding hands is a last resort before:

Pulling my own hair out and screaming until I die: Sometimes nothing works. We have the girls shack up with us in our bed like we used to and hope to move them sometime in the night so that we can get some rest, too. The main thing is to realize that no matter how prepared you are, you're not always going to come out successfully. I don't actually recommend pulling out hair or screaming or dying, but it sure sounds like it would be helpful.

I always tell my daughters when they play keep-away with our German Shepard, "Don't play to win, just play." That's how I feel about bedtime. Don't play to win. In the end, they can always outlast your patients if you make it a power struggle. Just talk things out, give in if you must, but set expectations that this night is different from tomorrow night.

The Hostile Educational Climate of Testing

I'm a teacher. At this point, I'm just about a year away from having earned a doctorate in Education. I can't stand the thought of my kids going to school when standardized testing is ruling the terms of the classroom.

No Child Left Behind is un-researched, underfunded, and simply senseless. I can't imagine why--despite the glittering generality of the title of the bill--people voted for it. There is no reason to believe that all children learn at the same pace. There is no reason to believe that some students just aren't ready to go on to the next grade. There is no reason to believe that every student in every corner of America should be learning the same things at the same times and demonstrate the same skills. It's nothing short of madness.

The federal government pays for about 10% of public schools. Despite that small amount of funding, No Child Left Behind intrudes upon each and every classroom and, essentially, dictates a common curriculum for all students to learn. I see three major problems with it.

Problem #1: Educational Diversity

In nature, species survive through genetic diversity. If the climate changes, a new predator is introduced, or a certain disease comes through, the variety of genetic make-up will help some of those creatures survive. Those advantageous genetic qualities will the be passed on, improved upon, and posterity will benefit. You can't expect every creature to survive every epidemic, but you can, reasonably, expect that the species will push on. This is why inbreeding is frowned upon in polite societies of animals; too much of one specific gene pool will result in decreased genetic diversity.

In Universities, they don't hire their own graduates most of the time. If UT hires only UT alumni, they will, in effect, be in-breeding. They will have a lack of educational diversity which will lead to narrow thinking. This narrow thinking will result in a lack of diversity for problem solving--all people will approach problems in the same way, drawing from the same education, and at some point, a problem will come along that will be unsolvable to them.

This is what we're doing to the nation at large. If every student is forced to learn the same materials for the same purposes, the homogeony will make the country much less creative problem solvers. We will be faced with plenty of problems that will be unsolvable.

Problem #2: Common Denominators

Many students who are behind in class are there because they are way ahead of the class. They get bored, frustrated, and end up living in their own heads rather than paying attention. Then they can't demonstrate the skills that were taught simply because the subject matter wasn't engaging to them.

This is why we push for smaller class sizes. It's not just that each student gets more attention, but that each class can move faster, or, at a pace more common to all the students. By saying that we won't go on without every last student, even the bright students might be chastised for holding the classroom back.

Problem #3: Negligence

The worst advertisement I've ever seen was for Kindermusik. It showed a girl playing a drum and said, "The same rhythm she uses for music, she'll use for dribbling down the court." So that's the value of music education? What it can do for your basketball skills?

This has been the attitude towards educating the arts for as long as I can remember. I took a lot of music when I was younger and was always disgusted when someone would mention that music was good for your math skills. I always thought that math was good for your music skills.

Arts aren't just good for learning the important stuff: they are the important stuff. By focusing testing and benchmarks on English and Math, schools neglect not only music and art, but science and history as well. These things are important. These are the way that we move a culture forward. They are what being human is about, even if they don't use it to benefit society. Or basketball.

No Child Left Behind, by focusing on the "practical skills" is, in a sense, saying that education is for making money in the future. It's not. Education is supposed to be for thinking for yourself, understanding of your place in the world, and should, ideally, enhance your creative skills. Let's see them demonstrate creativity by filling in a bubble with a number two pencil.

I live for the day when we realize that some students may not be ready to move on--even emotionally. And when we see that some students should move very much farther on. If we could take the funding for NCLB, and many other ridiculous educational programs and put it to making smaller class sizes and increasing the range of subjects that students can learn, we will make out country a stronger place.

Or, we can just give programs fancy sounding names that limit our students and look fancy to our constituents so we can stick around the beltway a little longer and increase our salaries. That's a good idea, too.

Related:
Education vs. Schooling (On Steve-Olson.com)

A Modest Endorsement

In light of Badassdad's new sponser, Wal-Mart, I feel like I should say a few things to clear the air.

Wal-Mart is great. Look, who else is going to give you prices like that on the things you love? From the gasoline outside to the baby formula stocked in three different sections of the store, you can do just about all the shopping you need to do at Wal-Mart. And it takes a shrewd business mind to keep prices as low as they do.

One way they do it is this: they don't pay the employees much and they have questionable health-care packages. This way, when the employee gets sick, with their lack of money and insurance, they can easily qualify for Medicaid. Medicaid is paid for by our tax dollars, so, in essence, that thirty-seven cents you saved on roll-on came from the American people at large!

We know, trusted readers, that the bottom line is this: they are a business. Businesses exist to make money. Everything is forgiveable in this era of Machiavellian Consumerism as long as it gets the business what it wants. We've seen this time and time again.

In regards to my last post, it's true, bookstores are businesses too. It doesn't really matter if they are willing to sell cheap knock-off books of low quality and questionable content for which a writer wasn't even paid. What matters is that a) they are cheap, b) they make the store money, and c) they give our kids a good dose of what it feels like to be a good consumer. This makes the kids have wants and desires that are not particular to them at all, but are part of the mass market. And as the mass market goes up, up goes our happiness.

Look, McDonalds (which is happily placed in many-a-Wal-Mart) pays their employees the state minimum wage. They're not paying under that! They train the employee--usually coming in unskilled--and get a $6,000 grant from the government to do the training. The average employee spends less than 30 minutes training, then quits the job in 90 days. McDonald's hasn't even paid them $6,000! So they hire a new employee, get the same deal, over and over again. Why should they make working conditions better? They shouldn't! This is a BUSINESS! They want to make MONEY! They give kids a nice dose of lard, salt, and sugar and leave them wanting more. And of course they can keep prices low, they pay their average employee through a government work grant! Genius! Besides, they suport cool school fund-raisers, where if the school all eats there, half the profits go to the school! Wow! I mean, why should the parents give money to the school, when they can just give half of their money to the school? Or, they could keep it all, but whatever.

Besides, who besides Wal-Mart and McD's is going to give these people a job? They are the benevolent overlords of hospitality and community. Theirs is the good will that keeps up running, keeps us happy. So what if they put other companies out of business? They make money, and that's what matters.

So, drop by the Badass Store today and throw down your dollars on a cool T-Shirt. Or, no, you shouldn't. I'm an entrepreneur and don't deserve it. I don't make money well enough to deserve your endorsement.